Schadenfreude is a cute word of German origin that means “pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune.”
My LA-based friend The Angry Screenwriter (T.A.S.) emails me with the news of deals that have fallen apart. Not his deals, but the deals of other screenwriters or TV writers he knows.
He relishes in their misfortune, primarily because he has had so many deals fall through that he feels it’s his right to gloat. It’s easy to be vindictive like this if you’ve been screwed a few times. I understand. I’ve found myself enjoying the news that someone’s deal fell through. My Catholic upbringing then makes me feel guilty, then I get to thinking about the bad karma and I try to rescind my bad thought.
The Angry Screenwriter asked to expand on this theme:
Many years ago I heard the following maxim: “success isn’t enough, others must fail.” I also heard it this way: “success isn’t enough, your friends must fail.” When I was younger I couldn’t relate to this. But the longer I spent in Hollywood getting deals, almost getting deals, having deals blow up for reasons having nothing to do with the script I started to become hardened.
I found myself getting jealous when somebody else got a huge payday or a movie made while my projects were wallowing in development hell or being messed with by a producer.
Even though I’ve had movies made and earned some serious coin, I feel that I’ve been wounded enough to feel justified in not being sad or sorry for someone who has a deal fall through.
I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I could be more Christian or understanding or sympathetic. Somewhere along the way I heard of the word schadenfreude and I realized that I was experiencing it. I wish I hadn’t. I wish I could be supportive and encouraging to people who had something fall through.
But I can’t. At least not at first. My immediate reaction is “good. Now you know what it feels like.”
So if I can give you some unsolicited advice: don’t let your
That's a tough one.
ReplyDeleteIt's just human nature to stand at the summit of a mountain you just climbed and look back down at other people undergoing the same struggle and say, "yeah, your turn now". The attitude of mind you describe is laudable but I think unachievable but for those remarkable few. Jesus comes to mind and he was killed for being so sunny.
When I was doing stand up and had to go on after another comedian who had just really killed I would tell myself, "there isn't a finite amount of laughter in the world and this guy didn't just suck it all out of the room". If I was any good, I'd get laughs. Somebody told me once that my scripts were good, now all I needed was luck and, since fortune favors the prepared, keep writing to get better.
Other people's success or failure has nothing to do with me. The only thing I can control is that which issues from my pen. Once it's in the envelope and out the door there's not a whole lot I can do about it so I might as well write another one and be prepared for when the big break finally comes.
Your Pal, Roger
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ReplyDeleteThe best thing to do is put blinders on and not pay attention to the competition.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is the Angry Screenwriter is consulting the Bible for advice when any person in their right mind and who isn't a "girly-man" would turn to Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Pumping Iron".
In it he states that when it's time for a competition, he doesn't think about anything else except the competition. He doesn't let anything distract him. Even if his car was on fire he'd deal with it later. Granted that's extreme and it'd probably be worth it to stop and put the fire in your car out, but the general gist of the attitude makes sense... and that's to focus on what you have to get done, not what other people are doing.
I hate everybody who is farther along then I am. I think it's healthy. When I got my deal (yay!!!) I figured people would hate me and that it would balance out. I really liked your Twitter For Screenwriters posting.
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's human nature to feel jealous, especially if things haven't worked out. But if things are going well and you still think like that it's being very ungrateful.
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ReplyDeleteI think you have to stay positive and be happy for others while believing that it will happen to you as well. That being said, it's not always easy, but in the end if you don't you'll wind up being miserable.
ReplyDeleteI think Schadenfreude only happens when u are disappointed with your success or have yet to reach your own goals... my advice is put blinders on and chase your dreams...
ReplyDeleteAngry Screenwriter strikes me as someone who has been hurt and is trying to heal. Probably a new deal would help. :-)
ReplyDeleteI like The Angry screenwriter guy's attitude. I liked what he said in his column last month. He's a truthteller. No sugarcoating. Almost every screenwriter I know has been screwed or abused and taken advantage of. It seems that the nicer somebody is the more they get screwed over. So is it any wonder when we keep hearing about other people getting deals and movies made and having these great careers and we find out they've got family connections or that they got in through the door NOT on the basis of talent that we get a little bitter. More truth Mr. Angry Screenwriter
ReplyDeleteI see nothing wrong with this. We are human. We have frailities. It's never happy time when we don't get what we want so it's natural to be jealous. As Kurt Vonnegut said..."so it goes."
ReplyDeleteI never understood this kind of thinking when I was in my 20s. I interpreted it to be the way a bitter, angry failure thought. Then as I got older I started to say, yeah. I get it.It only happened because I kept getting the short end of the stick while lesser writers---people I knew---got jobs and deals. I'm still angry. I don't know if a big success can make me think otherwise.
ReplyDeleteThere is something satisfying about getting some good news and other people not. Even your friends. It's much easier to feel sorry for someone when they tell you their sob story. I do feel a little guilty though.
ReplyDeleteNever heard of that word before. It's so me, it makes me sick. I don't want to be that way, but I can't help it.
ReplyDeleteI am always happy when one of my deserving and talented friends experiences even the smallest success. I know how hard I work and how great it feels to get acknowledged for my efforts. It reinforces that if they can make it, so can I. On the other hand, when one of my undeserving, talentless friends suffers from a fall from success or major setback, I quietly laugh and think "serves the douche bag right." Sometimes I say it out loud. It depends upon whether there is someone to share in and appreciate the schadenfreude.
ReplyDeleteI get sick to my stomach when someone I know who is a jerk gets a deal. I have this desire to believe that only nice people get deals. How stupid am I?
ReplyDeleteI try to be supportive of everyone, even if I can't stand them. I figure that my time will come and I wouldn't want anyone hating on me.
ReplyDeleteI'm at the stage where I get angry for a little while, then that turns into frustration, then I forget about it and keep moving.
ReplyDeleteThis is something almost everyone I know struggles with. You want to be happy for others, but when you're struggling and have been struggling it's hard not to get angry. Eventually you have to just let it go and move on
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